This next step is if this is after an argument,
Step Five: Apologize!
Yes Apologize! Even if you did nothing wrong. Apologize, this will confuse him completely and again set you apart from being a typical woman. Most of my clients when they here this part they flip and become defensive saying “I am not apologizing, why should I apologize even if I did nothing wrong.” This step is a tactical step. Do you want your marriage to be over? Do you want to live in a house of tension for days, weeks? Or, do you want to get pass this and move on? I rather the latter.
Humble yourself and say sorry for losing it or for anything that you may have said out of anger and you did not mean it. The goal of this is to open the lines of communication. If two people are upset and yelling neither one is listening. It turns into a screaming match. In order for communication to begin one of you need to take the big step and it is usually the woman and just apologize. When you humble yourself, you are allowing God to lead you and not your flesh/anger/ego lead you. Once you allow God to lead you this step naturally begins to melt the ice that is in your husbands heart. How can one argue with another if they are humble and apologizing. It forces one to humble themselves and communicate. Or he will just be arguing with himself. Anger fuels anger. Fire cannot continue to burn without oxygen. When you remove the anger “oxygen” it will eventually lose its strength and die.
“But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.” (Colossians 3:8 NLT)
“Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper— it only leads to harm.” (Psalms 37:8).
The key to all these steps is LOVE! When you respond in love you force the spirit of anger to flee and allow the spirt of peace to come in and do its part.
Set yourself apart from typical women and follow these steps in order to achieve a home that is filled with love and peace, a place of solace! Begin today to create that desirable home that your husband will run home to even after a heated argument and not to the arms of another woman. Change the way you think, visualize the kind of home you want and that is what you will get.
My desire is for you and your spouse to live in unity and to flourish. I want you and your spouse to have the most loving and romantic relationship so that together you can build a home on solid ground for your children and give them a positive image of what marriage is. However, the process has to begin with you, you have to set the tone you have all the power necessary to create the ideal home. Start now!