One day I went for walk and was meditating and praying and the spirit of God pretty much told me that the desire of a husband was greater than the desire I had for him “God”. I thought to myself no, that’s not right. The thought came again, “The desire of a husband was greater than the desire of God”. All this time I thought I was loving God and seeking him, I was not. Wanting a husband had become an Idol and I had put it before God! We all know that God is a jealous God and nothing I mean nothing can come before him. Hear I was quoting scriptures, doing my best to seek him outwardly but inwardly the love for a husband was greater than the love I had for God. When God gave me this revelation I wept like a baby. I asked God for forgiveness, and decided at that moment to put him first.
The first way I was able to show God that I loved him was by listening to him and following his commands. For me, that meant to stop sleeping with other men! The day I decided to stop fornicating was the beginning of a romance that would never end! A romance that would lead me to my earthly husband. You see when you love God and concern your life with the things of God you are loving yourself. The romance was between me and God.
I stop making the desire of a husband my focal point. I began enjoying my family being there not only physically but emotionally. I started picking up the elderly who were walking in the hot sun with heavy grocery bags and would take them home. I began giving toys to hospitals for the children that were there anonymously. Let me tell you it felt good. For the first time in my life I began to enjoy life. I was giving of myself not to gain anything back but just to love and that is when I started to love myself and understand what love truly meant. I was loving God and God is Love!
You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” (Deuteronomy 30:20 (NLT)
You see you and God are one, so if you do not love God you cannot love yourself. Loving myself made me a lot more attractive to Dudley. It was not the worldly things that I possessed such as owning my own home, having a good credit score and not having any kids. I thought those things would make me attractive and I would pride myself when meeting a man about these things. Little did I know that it would be having bad credit, being in debt and LOVING GOD was what my husband loved about me.
Gods spirit, love, joy and peace is what lead my husband to me not what the world viewed as desirable. Outwardly my circumstances were not that great but inwardly I was walking with God and his spirit shined like the brightest star and caused Dudley to be attracted to his light and from the day when we met Dudley held on to me for dear life, never to gamble with my love for he knew my worth! My worth was the fact that I walked and acted in Love, Gods Love!
Step one is to love yourself. You do this by loving God. For me I had to stop having sex and stop smoking. I had to put God first and not the desire of a husband. What is your idol? What are you putting before God? If you want to attract the one you have to start putting God first which means you start loving your neighbor and start doing for others. Once you start doing this you have begun the journey of loving yourself and you will flourish like the prettiest flower in the garden and God will make you stand out before all the rest forcing your husband to recognize you the minute he lay eyes on you. Start loving today do not waste another minute!
The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” ( Mark 12:31)
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